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  • The Rose
    replied
    Originally posted by Chrisss Nofff View Post
    [ATTACH=CONFIG]556[/ATTACH]

    And then you have the people of course who have the luxury of watching a Rammstein concert from their fucking window........I'm bleeding because of envy.
    Yeah, but think of all the pop-concerts in the same place they have to listen to as well.

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  • Chrisss Nofff
    replied
    Lucky Bastards.jpg

    And then you have the people of course who have the luxury of watching a Rammstein concert from their fucking window........I'm bleeding because of envy.

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  • The Rose
    replied
    Last edited by The Rose; 05-22-2015, 12:44 PM.

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  • The Rose
    replied
    I tried to say it out loud in a Scots accent and giggled

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  • Waidmann
    replied
    ^Splendid My 28 year old brother reacted likewise...

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  • EmeraldRose
    replied
    ^My 6 year old thinks that is great! He's running around the house repeating it

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  • Waidmann
    replied
    This had me laughing too a while ago!

    http://d.justpo.st/media/images/2014...4521700dce.jpg

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  • Waidmann
    replied
    ^haha, my god, this is killing me!

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  • EmeraldRose
    replied
    Because I saw this the other day and it made me grin...

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  • Chrisss Nofff
    replied
    ^Good stuff hehe

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  • Art in Heaven
    replied
    Some twat looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Guinness or Fosters?"


    I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

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  • Art in Heaven
    replied
    Oh those Russians!

    Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.

    At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions. Little Sasha puts her hand up and says "I have two questions. Why did the Russians take Crimea? And why are we sending troops to Ukraine?"
    Putin says "Good questions..." But just as he is about to answer, the bell goes, and the kids go to lunch.

    When they come back, they sit back down and there is room for some more questions, another girl, Misha, puts her hand up and says
    "I have four questions. My questions are - Why did the Russians invade Crimea? Why are we sending troops to Ukraine? Why did the bell go 20 minutes early? And where the fuck is Sasha?"

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  • EmeraldRose
    replied
    *dies of massive pun damage*

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  • Waidmann
    replied
    Hahaha! That reminds me an awful lot of the jokes Stewart Francis and Milton Jones used to make. Like:

    - I wanted to join a debating club, but someone talked me out of it

    - Farting in elevators is wrong in so many levels

    - My parents' dog ran away, so I had to find him. I was up all night to get Lucky

    - You know what I say to rapists? I say fuck them!

    - I like what mechanics wear... overall.

    - Are women unsatisfied with how my body looks? A tiny part of me says yes.

    - A drunk man once said to me he invented the echo. I said: 'Listen to youself!'

    - I dated a girl from my castanet lesson. We really clicked.

    - I used to date a girl who sells trampolines. We had our ups and downs.

    - I went to Japan for my own sake. But that's not how you pronounce it.

    - It's hard to say what my mother does for a living. She sells seashells by the seashore.

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  • Art in Heaven
    replied
    Some puns.

    · How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it

    · Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    · A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    · I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    · Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

    · England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

    · I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    · They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O

    · I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's synching now.

    · Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

    · I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

    · I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    · This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

    · When chemists die, apparently they barium.

    · I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

    · I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    · I didn't like my beard at first. But it grew on me.

    · Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

    · When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.

    · Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

    · What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    · I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

    · I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    · Velcro ? ... What a rip off

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