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  • ^if he is such a violent person, jealous and so controlling, that you couldn't choose the music you listen or were afraid he got angry when you go to school, it was the best decision. It will hurt for some time, but at the end you'll be happier. Take care.

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    • @Zenika, it sounds like you took a good decision, and I hope for you you have good friends and family to help you through the coming times. It doesn't sound like he was worth having around. Make sure you take care of yourself.

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      • @Zenika.
        When I was 16 (a VERY long time ago), I had a girlfriend who was very controling, jealous and violent. She didn't even like it if a female singer was on the radio and if a TV show or movie had even partial female nudity in it she became violent. She would embarrass me in public by punching or kicking me or grabbing my hair. One incident she got so bad in a club that someone called the police who wanted to arrest ME! They refused to believe that a woman could be the agressor until several witnesses (mostly female) demanded that they let me go and they told the police what actually happened and they just left!
        I put up with this for nearly two years before I walked away.
        Someone that hits you doesn't love you. Someone that frightens you doesn't love you. Someone who controls you doesn't love you.
        As you said, the breakup is painful now but that will pass. You did the right thing. Far too many poor dead girls didn't.

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        • Not much to say that wasn't already said, so I'll settle for being crass: fuck that guy, good riddance.
          "Which is better, eternal happiness or a ham sandwich? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but this is really not so! After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness."

          - Raymond M. Smullyan

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          • ^I think this TED talk might be interesting to some you and AiH: http://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morg...ms_don_t_leave
            "Which is better, eternal happiness or a ham sandwich? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but this is really not so! After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness."

            - Raymond M. Smullyan

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            • ^I had watched it before, but I did again.

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              • Hi guys! It's been a hell of a busy week, and only halfway to the weekend. :P So. Multi-quote time!!

                Originally posted by The Rose View Post
                That grey will go well with my new scarf I bought in Lübeck, which is grey on one side, black on the other and the edges are burgundy-red.
                It's a really gorgoeous steely kind of grey, so I am definitely leaning towards using it for these. Plus, I have about a skein and a half, so I have some to experiment with. Trying to find a patter for something like a Swiss Cross, since I figure that will translate most easily into a + for us. Or something similar. Can't search crochet cross patterns because it comes up with lots of Christian Crosses, which isn't the shape I am looking for...so I keep searching.

                Do you guys think more of a beanie style or slouchy style for the hat? Something with a rim? Thoughts? They will be for everyone after all, so I don't mind input on the pattern...

                Originally posted by The Rose View Post
                But most importantly: Take care of yourself, concentrate on finishing your studies and think of all the time you'll have after it's over.
                I am. Though I will admit I am not looking forward to the big project I still have to do. :P I need to just get going on it. I've found 7 articles for source material, so...maybe another 25 or 30? We will see. I am in touch with one of the librarians at the school who thinks there should be plenty of stuff available on my topic. Just need to make the time to talk with him by phone instead of email...

                So many plans...so little time...

                Originally posted by The Rose View Post
                I'm worried about my mother, since she's been alone she shows increasing signs of dementia, maybe my stepfather kept that from us, and now she is also loosing her sight, we hope the last thing can be somewhat helped with an operation, but it's not easy when she is living alone and even when the very helpful neighbour looks in on her every day and help her shopping and remind her of doctor's appointments etc. (we couldn't get by without that neighbour, as my stepsister lives in another part of the country and I live two hours away on public transport - I don't ride a car). So every time my phone rings at odd hours I worry it might be bad news. So I stress a bit, which manifest as a feeling of being tired all the time, even if I just got out of bed,

                Well I hope at least work tapers off in the coming weeks and that I'll find time to go see my sister for a couple of days. Next weekend I'm going to the town of Odense to meet up with some of my photo-group. That will be a nice break from the worries.
                *hugs*

                What sort of community resources are available for assistance? Sort of agencies that have people who go around and visit with people who need extra assistance, but not necessarily the funds to pay for regular home care? Or maybe assistive tech devices to help her cope with losing her sight? Do you have assisted living type places where people still live relatively independently but there are staff members available to check on them or assist as needed? I hope she will be ok and that you are able to relax and have a good visit with your sister

                Originally posted by Maya View Post
                @ER What about a R+ minion hat?
                You jest, but there are patterns out there and I could probably make one up from one of the minion patterns...

                Originally posted by Maya View Post
                About selling them, it was a suggestion, there will come a time when you won't know what to do with them. At the moment, it's much better giving them to family and friends and of course the relaxing part of crocheting, there was a time that I used crossed stitch for that, it made me felt much better (I've got an alphabet half done, I should finish it).
                Good point...there may come a time when there's so many things sitting around the house that we can't wear or use. I might look into donating hats and scarves and stuff to one of the shelters. With such long hard winters here they would definitely be used.

                Originally posted by Zenika
                I broke up with my boyfriend week ago and that was my best decision for a while. We lived together and he was so controlling and violent person. I have not been this happy for a long time, of course the broke-up hurts but I love this relaxed feeling I have now. He even didn't let me listen Rammstein because he got jealous. Now I can go to school without fearing that he might get angry and so on.
                Good for you! That was a very brave decision, and I'm happy for you that you were able to make the break! You definitely deserve to make your own decisions and to have your freedom.

                Originally posted by Snake View Post
                Not much to say that wasn't already said, so I'll settle for being crass: fuck that guy, good riddance.
                I second this. And third it.

                Originally posted by Snake View Post
                ^I think this TED talk might be interesting to some you and AiH: http://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morg...ms_don_t_leave
                I love TED talks! The counselors at my internship showed this one below to the group recently, and it really struck a chord with me. There are times it really does take hearing someone else describe your life to understand what is happening. And begin to learn how to cope with it.



                EDIT: And I missed a quote I wanted to touch on. @ AiH- I recently saw an article about male rape victims and the difficulty they face having to bear the burden of "proving" they are victims in a society that dismisses the possibility out of hand. While not exactly the situation you described, your saying how the cops wanted to arrest you even though it was the girl who was being abusive made me think of that article.

                I'm very happy for you that you were able to get away from her, and I agree that healing hurts and does take time.
                Last edited by EmeraldRose; 02-04-2015, 05:28 PM. Reason: quote storm

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                • Originally posted by Maya View Post
                  @ER What about a R+ minion hat?
                  Originally posted by EmeraldRose View Post
                  You jest, but there are patterns out there and I could probably make one up from one of the minion patterns...
                  Not jesting I love minions, an example this is my mobile cover:



                  And I've got Stuart and a mutant minion, notebooks, covers, a minion pendrive...

                  Why not a hat?

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                  • Ok, so something like this:


                    Combined with something like this:

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                    • With the Rammstein logo.... can you imagine it?

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                      • That would be pretty amazing, I have to admit...

                        And now I'm thinking I should figure out how to crochet flames for around the bottom of the hat...

                        Geez.

                        Actually. If I can figure out how to make the flames and the + it would probably work out perfect. I could make the Minion's eye the + and with flames around the bottom where they have the blue stripe...

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                        • I'm dreaming....

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                          • ^Can't wait to see the result. I'm sure it would look amazing

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                            • Originally posted by EmeraldRose View Post
                              What sort of community resources are available for assistance? Sort of agencies that have people who go around and visit with people who need extra assistance, but not necessarily the funds to pay for regular home care? Or maybe assistive tech devices to help her cope with losing her sight? Do you have assisted living type places where people still live relatively independently but there are staff members available to check on them or assist as needed? I hope she will be ok and that you are able to relax and have a good visit with your sister
                              There is some one from the council coming around in the morning to help her out of bed and washed, plus they help a little with cleaning the flat. They don't have assisted living, and she is to well for a nursing home, but if she is found to have dementia they have a special team that comes to her home and will help her to stay in her own place for as long as possible, and there is medicine to keep her from getting worse. But after all, she is 85 so I guess that's what is to be expected.

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                              • Originally posted by The Rose View Post
                                There is some one from the council coming around in the morning to help her out of bed and washed, plus they help a little with cleaning the flat. They don't have assisted living, and she is to well for a nursing home, but if she is found to have dementia they have a special team that comes to her home and will help her to stay in her own place for as long as possible, and there is medicine to keep her from getting worse. But after all, she is 85 so I guess that's what is to be expected.
                                Good! I figured there had to be something in place for these situations, because they happen everywhere. It sounds like the sort of set up many local governments have here. If it's the meds I am thinking about, sometimes they will work to delay the onset (of true dementia, not getting into all the other things that can mimic or cause similar symptoms) or slow down the progression, and sometimes they don't really work. It is probably worth the try though. Good luck to you and your mom both!

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